I was being sexually abused by my cousins

7
Cousins

My Childhood was not one of the ordinary. I didn’t experience the love, joy, and innocence of childhood. From the age of 4, I was being sexually abused by my cousins. I didn’t know it at the time. They used to call it “Playing the Game”. Life went downhill from that point. I was now being raped by some other cousins; it was four of them in total. I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names. It was at the age of 12 yrs I only then comprehended what had happened to me in my life. I was going to tell my parents but I was threatened by them and even choked one night.  I became a living corpse from then on. I was a living dead. I was cold. I was just an entity in a body. Nights on end I cried myself to sleep from my demise. I felt dirty. Constantly bathing, trying to cleanse off their touch from my body. I felt like someone poured acid on me; it was eating me away daily, bit by bit, piece by piece. I was full of hurt, pain, anger, and rage. Years passed, and the pains grew stronger and stronger. Nothing quelled the raging inferno burning inside me. Day by day, I was becoming less human. I tried everything and nothing worked such as different religious prayers etc. Suicide was the only way out, the only solution to ease my pain. It would all soon go away I thought. One night I put a tape around my neck, and I was going to strangle myself, but something pulled me back. My teacher had told me about Jesus. I had nothing to lose, I had already lost the will to live, was too tired fighting to survive and too weak from daily battling. So I closed my eyes and prayed to Jesus. When I closed my eyes……I saw Jesus himself and He was holding a door. He grasped it tightly and was looking towards the sky praying. I said, “Jesus, I need u in my life, I cannot carry these burdens again for they are too heavy, come into my life and take them and wash me from my sins.” Then I saw him kneel down in front of me and said: “If you had called me earlier, I would have come.” I looked into His eyes and I cannot describe what I saw. It was so full of compassion, love, peace, joy and reassurance and most of all care. He touched me, and everything just vanished. All the pain, anger, hurt, broken heartedness, everything just vanished immediately like it never happened! What I was searching for all these years, Jesus came and did it in seconds.    He taught me how to love myself first when I hated what I saw in the mirror, how to forgive my transgressors when I only had hate for them and how to love His people, just as He loves me. This is my testimony, my testimony of the truth of the great works that Jesus did in my life. He can do the same for you. Invite him in and accept Him as your savior if you haven’t yet. He is all too willing to come and carry ALL your burdens as He always cares for ALL HIS PEOPLE. Accept God’s gift of redemption today before it is too late. I have a reason to live now…………….His name is JESUS.

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